i've been fully aware that i've neglected this here blog. do you ever get so sick of your own thoughts? well, i do. sometimes i just want to shut my brain off....i have the problem of over thinking things TO-DEATH! I decided to delete my other posts...because i'd like to start fresh.
i've had a few recent events in my life that have brought me to the cross. not one particular event worse than another, but the compilation of events. which honestly i think that's better than one major event. one day i'm reading my favorite blogs, and becky at farmgirlpaints was talking about friendships. ( i tried to find that specific entry but i'm not that savvy yet). she was talking about the ability that friends have to lean on one another in christ. how we have the ability to ask for prayer, share the word, just share the common thread of christ. i began to crave that. i've had it before, but this time around i want it to look different. i want it to be real, and genuine. i want my friendships to have my heart. i want to give freely, and have the compassion, and love that jesus gives us. when i ask a friend "hey, how are you?" i usually don't mean it...i know, that's sad. it's more of a saying, not a real question. i want god to shine in my friendships, not inappropriate humor, not gossip, not slander, or jealousy, or envy, or any other thing that doesn't reflect christ.
as that desire for friendship began to grow, so did my desire to mature in my relationship with jesus. i wanted to know my savior more intimately than i've ever known him before. i've had some tragic things happen in my life that have been pivitol in my relationship with god. but i wanted to be closer. as these two desires began to take over, i found myself sitting before god with excitement! i am so excited to see what he has for me everyday. god began to show me how little my faith is in him. in my quiet times, i've even found myself on my knees praying, and at times begging god for my requests, and he has been so faithful. god has put this desire in my heart to grow, and mature, and the blessings i'm already receiving are real friendships forming that are christ centered! some are old long time friends, and some new women i've just met! god has given me a passion to love on the ladies at my church. i'm not sure how, it could just be praying for them, maybe more. i am sooo excited!!!! my faith is still small...i'm NO WHERE near moving mountains...just about an hour ago, i was in my kitchen crying because my lack of faith. but i know he is so faithful...and these moments of fear will be lessons and will produce fruit.
You looked for much, and behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home, I blew it way. Why? declares the LORD of hosts. Because of my house that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house. Haggai 1:9
V
Hi Vicki,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out. I tell you the friendship thing is a challenge for me too on an every day basis. It's really hard to find good true friendships and to have Christ at the center is a precious gift. Here's praying that a special friend will land right in your lap. Happy day girlie.